remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
