12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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