i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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