So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
