Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
