Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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