I am full of burrito and curiosity
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
