Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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