i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We won't sleep together?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
