it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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