her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
