i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize