I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
