It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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