cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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