So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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