toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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