I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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