what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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