the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
