You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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