Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
