EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
