I can text with my tongue
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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