The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
