That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
