no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I did not marry a roomba.
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