so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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