I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
