I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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