i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
