sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
