Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
