i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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