I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
