either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If I die, sorry about rent.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
