But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
