Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
