Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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