butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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