ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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