Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
tell me about the eggs
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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