its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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