I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
