whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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