you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
