too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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