Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
