call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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