like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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