Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
