You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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