he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
