I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
