So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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