I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
