yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
